How to comfort those in grief

Want to comfort those who grieve but don’t know how? Most times, the right words fail us. We want to give comfort, but feel helpless.

Here are some practical things you can do to help comfort your dear one who is in grief:

Know and come to terms with your limits
The passing of a loved one is a traumatic experience; therefore, you must know that grieving is a natural process, and there is nothing you can do to spare his/her grief. It is a part of suffering a loss and is a way to adapt to the new situation.

Offer to help
You can mention specific areas you would love to be of help such as getting groceries or taking the kids to the school and so on. However, if you do not know how to be of assistance, you can ask. Make concrete suggestions about what you can do or do for him/her. Everybody mourns differently and what they need from their environment usually changes with the duration of the mourning so you must always ask periodically.

Be generous with your presence and also offer to listen to them
Your presence will go a long way to comfort someone in grief and it also shows them you care. Having people around is encouraging and makes the healing faster. Your mere presence is a way of telling them they are not in it alone and that you’re there for them.
Just listen patiently, even if they always say the same things.

If they don’t want to talk about their feelings, don’t force them
Some mourners avoid talking about anything that has anything to do with the deceased person, mostly out of fear of losing their composure. They just want to survive the day. If they go down this road planning joint activities is always a good option, maybe they will open up later.

Establish rituals
Establishing certain rituals such as visits and phone calls will go a long way. Call him/her at certain times. Rituals have something reliable – it shows you’ve not “forgotten” about them.

Encourage them to partake in activities
During the mourning phase it can be helpful for the mourner to be distracted from time to time.
Even if you get turned down try to encourage him/her again and again to participate in small activities. These activities can be a walk in the park, hiking, sports, fishing etc.

Recommend a mourning group
When he/she is with others who have suffered a loss, then he/she no longer feels as alone with his grief and can experience that other people have similar feelings and reactions as them.
You can offer to drive/accompany them to their meeting.